Why Do I Stay?
by Red Witch
Summary: Darkstar reflects on her past and why she chooses to remain with Stingray in the present.


**Darkstar rode off with the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Ranger characters. This takes place after 'Galaxy Stranger'. Just what goes through Darkstar's head. And what the hell does she see in Stingray anyway? Obviously some stuff they never showed in the cartoon. **

**Why Do I Stay?**

I know what you're thinking. What the hell is she doing with Stingray that arrogant Aussie bastard when she could have had Goose? What could she possibly see in him anyway?

Maybe it seems so simple and clear cut to you. But it never was to me. The Shane I knew at Wolf Den and the man he is now are very different to me. And maybe you might think that Stingray is just the same crazy Supertrooper like the others.

But how Stingray acts to the rest of the world is very different than the man he is when we're alone together. Don't forget back at Wolf Den we had to learn how to hide our true feelings from everyone. From the Commander. From the scientists. From the guards. Even from other Supertroopers.

Showing emotions other than rage and hatred are a sign of weakness. I've heard of Supertroopers being **frozen** for that.

So what the hell do you know about us? You don't know the life we lived or went through. What gives you the right to judge my relationships?

You don't know the real Stingray. I do. Or at least I thought I did.

Let me go back to the beginning. To how Stingray and I first met. Maybe you might understand a little.

Back in the days at Wolf Den there were actually **two** separate Supertrooper bases. One of them was in the Australian Outback. That's why Stingray has an accent. Long story short the Supertroopers there were put through a test. Those that passed were transferred to Wolf Den. Out of thirty troopers they had there only fourteen passed.

Those that didn't…The lucky ones were either killed during the test or frozen in the Cryocrypt.

There were some that didn't even make it there. They were sent to a lab somewhere in…No, I don't want to talk about that now.

I remember the first day I met Stingray. It was the day the Australian Supertroopers were transferred to Wolf Den. I was thirteen. He was fourteen. The youngest of his crew to survive. I remember seeing him step off the transport as if it were yesterday. His white hair waving in the wind. That cocky smile on his lips. Even then he wore his shades because he thought it made him look cool.

I fell for that smile the moment our eyes met. Even today it still melts me deep inside. Because he's only smiled that way to one person, me. Yeah there were other females at Wolf Den. Prettier, taller with bigger breasts…

But out of all of them he looked at me.

Me, who was still a tomboy at the time. He was the first person that made me feel pretty. Just with one look. From that day on the two of us were together.

Stingray and I were the second youngest on Wolf Den base. Shane was of course the youngest. The baby of the group. He was only ten and the closest thing I had to a playmate of sorts. When he was little I helped our mentor Max watch out for him because no one else would. And believe it or not when Stingray arrived he actually liked Shane. Partly because Shane idolized the older Supertroopers and Stingray liked the attention. The other part was that Stingray hated Kilbane the moment he laid eyes on him and he figured anything that bugged Kilbane couldn't be all bad.

I can still hear that first conversation as if it took place only yesterday. Mostly because we Supertroopers have advanced memory retention skills. Almost photographic to a point.

Sometimes that's not always a good thing, especially with some of the training we went through.

Anyway I remember I was showing him around the barracks when little Shane was running towards us. Because he was younger than we were he wasn't allowed to train as long as the older kids were. He spent a lot of time in the classroom but he always seemed to manage to find creative ways to train.

"Darkstar! Darkstar!" I remember him bounding along towards us, full of energy. He looked at Stingray. "Who's that?"

"Hello Sport," Stingray grinned. "Name's Stingray. Who might you be?"

"I'm Shane Gooseman," Shane said proudly. "Call me Goose. I'm a Supertrooper too."

"Goose is the youngest of us," I explained to Stingray.

"He's a runt that's what he is," Kilbane walked by sullen and grouchy as usual. "Bad enough we gotta put up with him! Now we got new people in our territory!"

"Shut up Kilbane!" Shane stuck out his tongue. "I think it's great we got new soldiers!"

"More people to kick your aaaahhh!" Kilbane snarled in agony as Shane kicked him in the shins. "Why you little runt! I'm gonna…"

"You'll do nothing!" I stood between the two of them. "Get lost Kilbane! Go bother someone else."

"I oughta clobber the both of you," Kilbane made a fist.

"Try it mate and you'll find out **why** I'm at the top of my class in boxing and hand to hand combat," Stingray growled as he got in Kilbane's face.

"He's not even in the top ten," Shane mocked.

"Quiet Runt!" Kilbane roared. He glared at Stingray. "You just made a big mistake crossing my path."

"Really?" Stingray folded his arms.

"Just wait until our first training session," Kilbane backed off and stalked away. "Then we'll see who's the real tough guy around here!"

"Shane you know better than to provoke him!" I lectured him when Kilbane was gone.

"I'm not scared of him," Shane said defiantly. "Thinks just because he's older he's better than me and can push me around. Well I won't let him!"

"That's the idea Sport!" Stingray laughed and gave him a playful punch. "I think you and me are gonna be real pals."

"Are you really at the best in boxing?" Shane asked him eagerly. "Can you teach me fight? I could really use some new moves!"

"Sure? Why not?" Stingray smiled. "Stick with me kid and I'll teach you to be a **real** fighter!"

I'll bet Stingray is regretting that decision now.

I remember those days with fondness. The days when we all got along. We trained together and shared secrets because we were all younger than most of the other Supertroopers. I remember the time Stingray helped Shane practice his drills. Little Shane was so proud to follow his orders and Stingray was pleased with his progress teaching him.

But time went on. Things changed. And not for the better.

The training became harder. Competitions broke out between several Supertroopers. We started ingesting the genetic enabling factor. It made us stronger, faster…It also made us harder. Our tempers flared more and there were more arguments and fights among us. Even Stingray and I snapped at each other.

Almost overnight Stingray became as harsh as the others. Especially to Shane. He even started to call him 'Runt', something he never did before. I remember the hurt look in Shane's eyes when he started to do that. It was the beginning of the rift between them.

Shane soon turned thirteen and he had to fight twice as hard to get any respect from the others. I could always see it in his eyes.

Stingray was having problems too. It soon became obvious that his pupil was quickly starting to surpass him in fighting skills, especially sharp shooting. It frustrated him that he had more trouble with his long range weapons and that a kid younger than him was surpassing him.

Stingray always prided himself because he had always worked so hard at being good with weapons. For Shane it was like he was born with them in his hands. Stingray told me in confidence that he hated feeling second best to Shane. That it seemed that Goose had some kind of unknown edge over him and all the other Supertroopers when it came to that. It came so naturally to him while most of us had to work at it so hard.

I guess that was part of the reason most of the others resented Shane. Some things just came so easy to him while the rest of us had to work for it.

He also used to think more than the others now that I remember. I once found him looking at the stars for hours after curfew and asked him why he did that instead of sleeping. Shane told me he liked to wonder about things and looking at the stars relaxed him. I asked him what could he possibly wonder about?

"Is it what the others say about you?" I asked. "You know that they're only jealous because you're a good fighter."

"Not really," He told me looking at the sky. "Darkstar do you ever wonder what…What things would be like if you weren't a Supertrooper?"

"Why would I wonder about that?" I asked him a bit shocked

For a moment there was a look on his face I couldn't understand. "No reason," He shrugged it off. "Just something that came into my head."

"Staying out past curfew thinking about things for no reason," I shook my head. "Shane sometimes I just don't understand you. Come on, let's go in before Walsh catches us and puts us on cleaning duty."

That incident happened two weeks before what happened at Wolf Den.

Let me go back to a few moments ago. After Shane left I managed to drag Stingray off the street. I didn't want to take any chances that either the Sheriff or any of Laramie's goons would come by and pick us off. I don't know how I managed to get him to a small barn nearby. It was nearly an hour before he woke up.

"Uhgg…" He groaned. "What hit me?"

"Goose did!" I told him. "Stingray get up! We have to leave!"

"What? What happened?" He sat up, still groggy.

"Goose beat you!" I told him. "He beat us…We lost."

"Lost? What do you mean lost?" He looked around. "We ain't in chains or…You must have tricked him. Gotten us away."

"No, I…I couldn't do anything after he knocked you out cold," I admitted. "You've been out for nearly an hour. I had to drag you off the street and hide so that the Sheriff or Laramie's men wouldn't get us. And I'm still not sure about that. We have to get out of here."

"Hang on," He managed to stand up. "I remember now…The Runt actually…Then why aren't we…?"

"I don't know," I told him. "He let us go."

"What?"

"He let us go," I told him again. "He told me to…To take care of you."

"Gooseman actually **said **that?" He was shocked.

"Yes!" I snapped at him. "If it wasn't for that we'd be…I told you it was a bad idea working for Laramie! I **told **you that it would bring us nothing but trouble! And it did! If it wasn't for Goose…We'd be…He could have brought us in but for some reason he let us go. Maybe…Maybe he just didn't want to."

"Or maybe Gooseman isn't as dumb as we thought he was?" Stingray realized something.

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it Love," He told me. "The only reason he's a Galaxy Ranger is to hunt us down! Once we're all put away they'll put **him** away! Oh so that's his game! Ha! Should have known even the Runt was smarter than any human!"

"I don't understand."

"Think woman! He let us go to save his own skin!" Stingray snickered. "He never intended to bring us in at all! Of course! Now it all makes sense! He was just delivering a message! We were too bloody obvious. Caused too much of a scene here."

"Are you saying he let us go to save himself?"

"That's right," Stingray nodded. "It's the only thing that makes sense. We both know after what he did he'd gladly hunt down any Supertrooper and throw him in the freezer. Hell I'd love it if he did it to Kilbane. The whole universe would be better off. Yeah, yeah I get it now. His human masters think they have him on a leash making him hunt Supertroopers but as long as there's some of us running loose **he's** the one calling the shots!"

"I don't think that's why he did it," I told him. "I think deep down Goose cares about us."

"More likely about **you,**" Stingray snapped. "Don't deny it! I've seen the Runt make puppy dog eyes at you once or twice. And I know you have a soft spot for him. You always did."

"There was a time you had a soft spot for him too," I reminded him harshly. "He looked up to you…"

"Not as much as he looked up to **you**," He shot back.

"Why are we fighting over **this?** Are you **jealous** or something?" I yelled. "I chose you! I stayed with you! Why are you yelling at me?"

"Did you care for him?" Stingray asked me. "Do you still?"

Those words cut me hard. My silence shocked him. "Do you?" He was stunned.

"The truth is part of me will always see him as that little boy back at the barracks," I told him. "He's always been like a brother to me. I'll always have some affection for him. And back then…I don't know. Maybe deep down I knew he had a crush on me but I didn't want to admit it. It didn't hit me until…Until yesterday."

"He's no little boy anymore," Stingray growled. "He's our enemy now Darkstar, even if he doesn't have a choice about it. But we both know he did. He turned against us. Against all the Supertroopers…Froze his own kind so he could protect his master Walsh and all those bloody humans who only wanted to use us as cannon fodder. You chose to leave. He chose to stay. He chose **them** over us! That's the way it is. That's the truth. You can't deny it."

The truth?

It sounded so simple right then.

The truth is Shane really wasn't one of us anymore.

He was different. Changed. Somehow…Something changed him. Maybe even before the Wolf Den incident.

I saw it happening right before my eyes. I knew something was wrong with him back at Wolf Den right before the incident. He wanted to tell me. If only I had just a few minutes to talk to him. Just to know…

Just to know once and for all if Shane planned to betray us from the beginning.

I used to be so sure before.

Now I don't know anymore.

I don't know Shane anymore.

Somehow Shane grew up into a man I didn't recognize.

A man that didn't act like a Supertrooper. A man that was merciful and kind as well as strong and fierce. A man who believed in a system that betrayed us. A man who followed some archaic code of justice over common sense and simple survival.

A man who was a dreamer as well as a soldier.

I don't understand a man like that. And I don't know if I ever will.

"You're right," I told him. "That was the past. And this is now. We can't just…We can't underestimate Goose anymore. He beat us Stingray. And if he catches us again…We just can't risk it with stupid mistakes."

"When the hell did the Runt get so strong?" Stingray sighed rubbing his sore face. "I'm sorry Love. You kept warning me that staying here and working with that Laramie creep was a bad idea. I should have listened."

"Yes you should have," I told him. "We can't do these kinds of jobs Stingray. It's too dangerous. It causes too much attention to us."

I don't bother mentioning the fact that being a criminal is just plain wrong. But the truth is being honest citizens is a luxury we can't afford. And I know it. I hate it but I know it.

"You're right," Stingray sighed as he hugged me. "You're always right. I'd have been an icicle years ago if it wasn't for you."

"Just promise me you won't repeat this mistake," I begged him. "No more working for people like Laramie."

"No more," Stingray agreed. "From now on the only people we work for is ourselves. No more being someone else's lapdogs. God I was no better than the Runt…What was I thinking?"

"Do we have to go through this **again?**" I sighed. "He let us go, the least you could do is…I just don't want to talk about him anymore. I just want to forget this place and get out of here."

For once Stingray got the hint. "Right. Now I'm starting to sound like Kilbane. Always ranting on about Gooseman. If I keep doing that I'll become as obsessed and addle brained as him."

"Let's just go," I told him. "The spaceport is not that far from here. I've got enough credits. We'll just go as far as we can and we'll worry about the rest when we get there."

Stingray nodded and we left. Once again we were running into an unknown future.

So now do you understand? Can you see why I went with Stingray? And why I am still with him?

I stay with him because I love him. At least I think I love him.

He needs me as much as I need him to survive.

That's as good a reason as any to stay with someone.

I'm not like Shane. I could never stay away too long from my own kind. I don't know how he does it.

But then again Shane isn't one of our kind anymore.

I like to think our kind wouldn't turn on each other but then again I wonder a bit.

I know for a fact Kilbane wouldn't hesitate to slit all our throats if the mood suited him.

Brainchild is too stuck up and concerned with his own petty schemes and insane plans to think of any of us as nothing more than tools. Jackhammer is too damn arrogant to listen to anyone for long. Chimera was always a bitch and Gravestone is too stupid to think for himself. He'd skin us alive if any of the others ordered him too. Especially Chimera.

At least Stingray cares about me. Well most of the time. When he's not in one of his moods where he wants to blow everything up and ignores me.

But I'm always able to bring him back. And he usually listens to me.

Not always but he listens more than anyone else would.

I know him as well as he knows me.

When it comes down to it, I know only Stingray and I can trust each other.

Shane…He trusts the humans far too much.

He's more like them than he is like us.

Now that I think about it, he always was.

And that's why it can never be between us.

I think Shane finally figured that out too.

He wants to be what he can't ever be: Human.

I hope he finds whatever it is he's looking for.

Maybe he's already found it?

All I want to find a place where BETA will never find us. A place where Stingray and I can live free and stop running.

And I don't care what I have to do and who I have to hurt to do it. Even though I don't want to hurt anyone that won't stop me from doing what I have to do.

That's the Supertrooper way.

That's not Shane's way.

It's my way.

So I stay with Stingray because we are alike. We are two of a kind.

And there are no others like us that will ever understand.

And that's enough for me.


End file.
